Saturday, June 2, 2012

Falling away....then going to the next level

Hey bloggers, sorry it has been so long. If you can't tell i am not much of a writer but i feel the need to share this as i am choosing to tell you about what God is doing in my life. I have been struggling so much with finding my identity in Christ Jesus and not only that, it hasn't helped any that i wasn't really spending time with Jesus. I was hungry but wasn't doing anything about it to fix it or to move forward. I felt like i was stuck in a what did i do?

Well lets just say that the Holy Spirit got a massive grip on me and convicted me of not spending time with Jesus. Well after that night, i never had felt so broken in my life, well i have haha.....but this was just one more moment that God was able to grab a hold of me and break me once again. After that, i have been spending more time with Jesus than i ever have. I have been reading a book as well called "He Loves Me" by Wayne Jacobsen. *I highly recommend it if you are struggling to see yourself in God's eyes.* So now that God has gotten a hold of me, he has been taking me to the next level.

That next level is very challenging but i am learning how to see myself in the Lord's eyes, how to fall into the depths of His love and so so much more. Tonight i had went to the park to just sit outside in the Lord's creation and hear him because that tends to be where i hear my Father best. Turned out, as i sat in silence in the Lord's creation i started to talk out loud, no one around, just me and God and his beauty. The Holy Spirit was talking to me through me if that makes sense to you. As i just talked, the presence of God just overcame me and i just felt God for the first time in a very long time.

You know something? I fell away from my Father, i tried faking it and thinking i could do it all on my own when i can't. That i could love God for what he gives me and not just love him. I mean what a you love God for what he gives you or what he did for you? Think about that....
Your Heavenly Father is not letting you and never will. He is calling you and wrapping you in his arms with everything that he has. He is holding you in the palm of his hand and is bringing you back.
I fell away and tried to just fake it....maybe you did too, but are you going to look up to your Father and ask him for help, ask him to take you to the next level. He wants to and he wants you, nothing more than just you, just the way you are with all your junk just as he took me with all my junk.

God bless and for now....

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