Falling away....then going to the next level

Hey bloggers, sorry it has been so long. If you can't tell i am not much of a writer but i feel the need to share this as i am choosing to tell you about what God is doing in my life. I have been struggling so much with finding my identity in Christ Jesus and not only that, it hasn't helped any that i wasn't really spending time with Jesus. I was hungry but wasn't doing anything about it to fix it or to move forward. I felt like i was stuck in a rut...so what did i do?

Well lets just say that the Holy Spirit got a massive grip on me and convicted me of not spending time with Jesus. Well after that night, i never had felt so broken in my life, well i have haha.....but this was just one more moment that God was able to grab a hold of me and break me once again. After that, i have been spending more time with Jesus than i ever have. I have been reading a book as well called "He Loves Me" by Wayne Jacobsen. *I highly recommend it if you are struggling to see yourself in God's eyes.* So now that God has gotten a hold of me, he has been taking me to the next level.

That next level is very challenging but i am learning how to see myself in the Lord's eyes, how to fall into the depths of His love and so so much more. Tonight i had went to the park to just sit outside in the Lord's creation and hear him because that tends to be where i hear my Father best. Turned out, as i sat in silence in the Lord's creation i started to talk out loud, no one around, just me and God and his beauty. The Holy Spirit was talking to me through me if that makes sense to you. As i just talked, the presence of God just overcame me and i just felt God for the first time in a very long time.

You know something? I fell away from my Father, i tried faking it and thinking i could do it all on my own when i can't. That i could love God for what he gives me and not just love him. I mean what a question...do you love God for what he gives you or what he did for you? Think about that....
Your Heavenly Father is not letting you and never will. He is calling you and wrapping you in his arms with everything that he has. He is holding you in the palm of his hand and is bringing you back.
I fell away and tried to just fake it....maybe you did too, but are you going to look up to your Father and ask him for help, ask him to take you to the next level. He wants to and he wants you, nothing more than just you, just the way you are with all your junk just as he took me with all my junk.

God bless and for now....

Thinking of my future and relying on God

Hello to everyone! It's been quite awhile since i have posted on here. Today feels like a good day to do  a post. It is a beautiful day, given it's a little rainy and stormy but i am very thankful for today! I've really been diving in to quite a bit of prayer the past few days. I'm somebody who is able to tell almost any guy or person how i feel about them but when it comes to a certain person i have a hard time trying to express how i feel and i didn't really realize that until my best friend kimmy said that and then i really realized that. I know that God has placed someone special in my life and i am just praying that God would work things out and even if it only works out that me and this person are just friends then i'll be ok with that but i am also believing that God will work things out if they are meant to be and even if they aren't then so it be. I feel like i just go through every story that i have, the day i first saw him, the day i meant him, the times we have hung out and had fun, the time i found out that his heart is for Africa and know that's where God has called him. I am praying for my future and for my future husband, i'm asking God to give me the desires of my heart as long as i delight in the Lord and i am giving God my all right now. I am running after my Jesus and as i run after my precious Lord i know that God will move in me and reveal many things to me. So these are just thoughts i've been having today and i am very much looking forward to where God is going to take my future and my life with whomever that may be with.

Missions trip to Mexico

Here is how i will start this blog about my mexico trip: "Missions Trip to Mexico" by Bunch of Believers....check it out..

After going to Mexico for 4 years in a row now, this fourth trip was just as good as the other trips. Each year i've gone to Mexico, God has changed me. This year when i went i learned that Jesus + Nothing = Everything! It really is the full truth too! We don't need anything else in this world besides Jesus because Jesus is everything, in other words, Jesus = Everything!

Why we were in Mexico we built a house for a family and we had so much fun building it too. At times it got kinda frustrating but we got it finished and it was so much fun! I even gained a new nickname from Paul Dumond which is "princess buttercup" and i'm not quite sure how i got it but i did. We had so much fun and got to use tools that we have never used. Here are a few pictures of us working and me as well as the finished product!

So this was the house and the team! We had a team of 52 people and it was truly an awesome week! We were a team that was from Pennsylvania, Virginia, Florida, Tennessee, Georgia, and Nebraska i think...haha, but by the end of the week we were all like family! We were a team that knew absolutely nothing about each other and by the end of the week we knew something about each other! It was so awesome being able to spend time with these awesome people and spend time with the people of Mexico. To do things for the people of Mexico is always such a blessing and we know that it does mean something for everyone too. It was a blessing to all of us!

Here is my testimony of the trip....
     I told you this year when i went to Mexico i learned that Jesus+Nothing=Everything. Well here is something that i also learned from inside this sermon series. Josiah Potter told us a story about the Pastor of the Church that we stayed at. This story was about how this Pastor's friend was driving on the windy mountains of Mexico and as he was driving he somehow went over the side of the cliff and rolled his car a few times and then landed. The Pastor was behind him and he got out of his car and ran down the hill to check on him and he was not alive. The Pastor slammed his hands on the top of the car roof and screamed, "Why God?" The Pastor said he audibly heard God's voice that said, "Because i am God." This struck me so much because i've had times when i've screamed in my car that same thing and now God has answered me. See, even though sometimes we don't understand why things happen, it happens because God has the power to do what he wants but in the end it's what helps us grow above and beyond and sometimes we don't realize that right away.

The rest of the week was an awesome week in Mexico. We got to minister to the people which was awesome and hanging out with them was so much fun! We even had one of the members on our team accepts Jesus and get baptized! It was so awesome! He is a son of the living God and means so much to the King! He is growing in his faith and is seeing who God really is which is awesome! This guy has such a purpose in his life and is going to use him in ways that he has never thought possible! All in all, that is my Mexico trip! It was awesome and i look forward to my next missions trip. God Bless for now!

Why is it that sometimes we don't fit in? Dedicated to all girls

Right now, i don't know what to say besides my feelings. Sometimes i guess certain cliques just stay the way they are. I don't understand it, i don't get it but i hate it.  It makes you feel terrible and sometimes like you don't belong where you are. I don't want to change myself in order to fit in and i know that there are girls that do that and if people can't accept you for who you really are then i guess they aren't worth it. I know it's hard to accept that too sometimes but it's just one of those things in my opinion you have to accept how people are. Be encouraged though and know that there is a true best friend for each person out there.

My sister and i were just talking and we both feel the same way. I mean i know that i have awesome best friends in Gettysburg that i miss tremendously but here at home i don't really have them. It gets hard but you know my dad said that maybe Jesus just wants to spend some time with me. So, that's what i am trying to do right now. I know that things get easier and we will always have bumps in the road. We CAN'T give up! We have to continue to push through even when we feel like we don't have anyone else to turn to, you turn to God and you know you have it all. My sister is an awesome sister and i didn't know that she felt the same way i do with this. She is beautiful and i love her so much! I know that God is going to provide her with someone in her life that she is best friends with and i look forward to meeting that girl!

                                               This is my awesome sister Janelle! Isn't she Beautiful?
                                                                                 I think so!
All girls, hang in there and don't give up. Spend time with your Heavenly who is your absolute best friend and he loves you more than anything, Jesus Christ! I love you Ladies and stay strong. I've learned tonight that our God fights for us! I encourage you to read Exodus 15:1-18. Remember that Jesus is there and is fighting for you and with you. You will pull through and you are a beautiful daughter of the King!

GMC Graduation and Summer Begins!

Well hello, it has been absolutely forever since i've blogged. It's about time that i let you all know what has been going on lately! A lot has definitely been going on lately in my life. I officially graduated on May 22nd, 2011 from my first year of Gettysburg Master's Commission!

Graduation was a very a happy day but it was also sad because i knew that on that day i had to leave my Gettysburg Master's Team and Freedom Valley Worship Center for the summer. I'll be honest, about half way through my year of Master's Commission i didn't think that i would be coming back for a second year but now i do believe that i am and i'm really looking forward to what God has in store for me next year and our team, along with the new people that we have! I believe that next year is going to be a great year and that even when we have hard times we will endure as much as we can and will come out stronger in the end!

So during Graduation, Lance talked about an arrow and how each of us are in the quiver getting ready to go out and be used by God. As we wait in the quiver, we each need to be ready at any certain time for God to send us out at any point in time. Lance truly is an amazing man of God and i am so thankful that he was our director this year. Through all the hard times we made it through as a team and pulled through till the end. We all had our moments through the year but with God we made it through and Lance did an awesome job this year for all that he went through and what we went through as a team. He did his best and i am very proud of my director!

My Gettysburg Master's Commission team. Oh how i truly love this team! Throughout this year i could probably tell you stories between each one of me and my team members. All these girls and Matt have truly set something special in my heart. I love them so much and they are each very special to me.

     Kimmy,

          You truly have become my best friend over this year and i couldn't have gotten through without you. You were there for me when i needed you and i want to thank you so much for that. We've had many laughs too which i have greatly enjoyed! God is going to continue to strengthen you and grow you in ways that you've never thought possible. You will make it through the tough times. I promise and God promises you that too! Continue to seek after God in everything you do! You are my best friend and i love you so much!

     Caitlyn,

          Well my dear, i would say we have had some good laughs over the year and the times that we've gotten to spend with each have been a lot of fun. You are an awesome woman of God Caitlyn and God is going to use in so many ways that you have never expected. I find it funny how you said that you believe God has called to do music in the missionfield and how you told me that God is going to use me in music while i'm in the missionfield. I'm still praying on that but i think it's cool. I think were a lot more alike than what we think we are. You are awesome and i love you for sticking with the team this year and being who you are. Continue to grow in God girl! Love you!

     Bonnie,

          Oh, Bon Bon! I love you! You have the one that has given me the best advice in certain situations and you have spoken into my life in ways that i didn't expect. I love what God has called you to and you are totally good at it because you were able to help each of us this year and keep us strong as a team. You know i have to tell you Bonnie that the day we were leaving for Armenia and you told me that i would be the strength on the team when we were in Armenia. Bonnie, God was testing me when i was there and with Lance's best advice and what you said to me, i kept to that to the best of my ability and i didn't want something to change that. So i want you to know that whether or not you had thought about that while i was gone, i did because it left a huge impression on me. Thank you for what you have done this year and for being who you are. I love you Bonnie Chase!

     Matthew,

          Well Matt, i know i didn't get to spend a lot of time with you but the moments in worship with you were amazing. I have loved doing worship with you this year and if we ever get to do it again i would love that. You truly are made to do worhsip and God is going to use you in that and in preaching. Continue to go after what you want and what God has called you too. I love you Matt and i wish you and Kristen the best! God will continue to move in your life and don't ever walk away!

SUMMER TIME!

Well, what can i say? Summer so far hasn't been terrible. I definitely miss my team though, it's been hard not being around them everyday. I've realized that since i've been home i haven't been keeping in my devotions and a few days ago i received a package from Miss Laura Smith who was part of our team in the beginning of the year and still is even if she wasn't there the rest of the year. She sent me a package though that made me cry, but it didn't just make me cry. It made me realize and God made me realize that i wasn't spending time with him and even though things were going well, i didn't feel as much peace. I've started back in doing my devotions and God has been showing himself to me since i've started back in my devotions. God allowed me to pray for a customer in the store the other day right in the middle of the isle and i was very much glad that God opened that opportunity for me.

God has been working in me and gave me wonderful people around me to hang out with, especially a certain someone. His name is Michael and he is probably one of my best friends right now here at home. I love hanging out with him and he makes me laugh like crazy and even try new things. He is interested in Africa and is taking 3 weeks in Burkina Fasso. I am quite excited for him and am anxious to see where God is going to take him in that. He is quite the funny one but i love talking to him and hanging out with him. I hope he is ok that i am blogging about him. He is an amazing guy and God is going to use him in so many ways that he has never thought possible.

So, all is all that is what has been going on in my life lately. Oh, and i'm going to Mexico on a missions trip. I leave this Friday night so if you can pray for our team that would be awesome! We are building a house and doing sports camps plus a small vbs with an orphanage. God is blessing me and i'm excited for what is to come for the rest of this summer! For now...i'll be in touch.

Thought Process...

The process of changing our habits and our thinking is through reading God's word and praying.

The past few weeks i've been really frustrated easily through the simplest things and it's hard. I've realized though that God has convicted me of being frustrated. I've come to the point that i don't want to deal with it anymore and i'm sick of dealing with it and being frustrated anymore. I don't want to be frustrated anymore and God has brought me to the point to give it up to him.

In sermon application we talked about "what are you full of?" and i truly can say that i believe i am full of frustration and i don't want to be that way. I don't want it to have such a strong hold on me that i can't go on anymore and i notice that the affects of that for me are feeling like i can't go through Master's Commission anymore, that i just want to quit. BUT, i know that that is just Satan trying to get at me and i don't want to let Satan have that hold.

Now, it is time for me to take that thought process and turn those thoughts from negative to positive. God is working on me in this and it will be a process but i will get through!

Armenia

So preparation for Armenia has been somewhat difficult. I've been fully relying on God with my finances and everything i need. God really has been providing for me too. God always ceases to amaze me. I had sent out letters and God had provided through the people i've sent to. About a week ago i had sent out a facebook message to most of the friends i have on facebook and no kidding, within a few minutes God had someone send me a message asking for my address! I was seriously amazed and stunned by God! He ceases to amaze me and i love everything about God!

I know that God is going to do great things in Armenia with the people and the pastors of the church that we are working with. I am very much looking forward to what God has in store for Armenia!